The Intelligence Estimate

Ok, it's been awhile since I've posted here so I feel obligated to say something. So, to that end, here is a series of completely unrelated stories (or bits of stories) that I have no other place for. That's right, I'm going for sheer quantity over quality. For all you Stephen King fans, you won't even notice the difference.

Enjoy!

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I was waiting for the bus the other day and I noticed that there were a lot more people waiting than normal. I thought, "Well, it's the weekend. There's just more people OUT right now." And that was right, a little short-sighted, but right. It was the first weekend of The Taste of Chicago, the first game in the second Cubs-Sox series, and the weekend of PrideFest. So the bus was PACKED. I was the last person CRAMMED onto the bus. My ass was pressed against the glass of the door. (My appologies to whoever has to clean those doors!) It reminded me of those pictures of people hanging off the sides of locomotives in India.

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I was watching a bit of the play (The Full Monty) at work here the other day. I was standing at the side with one of the more fun ushers, Kelly. Kelly was so glad to have a cohort she could tell her various witty comments to. The first thing she says to me is, "Vicki's nipples have been sticking out since she stepped on stage." I said, "Uh...thanks, I hadn't noticed." She turns back around and thinks about this for a minute. Then she turns back to me and says, "Well, being a gay man, you wouldn't notice." Then she turns back to the show.

Now, I was perfectly happy to leave it at that and not pursue the issue any further. It would just be awkward to correct her. If she thinks I'm gay, what's the harm in that? But then she turned back around with a follow-up.

"I mean, I guess I'm just assuming," she said. "I mean, you ARE gay, right?"

I held up my ring finger and said, "I'm married."

AWKWARD SILENCE.

"Oh," she said, "well...she's a very lucky woman."
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Oprah is no longer shopping at Hermes. If you haven't heard, they allegedly snubbed her at their store in Paris and now she won't shop there anymore. Her friend Gayle thinks it was racially motivated. The store said it's not racial, they were closed and not letting ANYONE in to shop.

So, if you're scoring at home, a star you don't like refuses to shopping at a store you've never heard of for reasons you don't care about.
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Our apartment is two buildings down from Lake Michigan. When I leave the building in the morning and walk to the bus I always sneak a quick look at the lake. On days when there is fog I fully expect Viking ships to cut through the mist and start pillaging the neighborhood. So far, nothing.