The Intelligence Estimate

Every year on the 4th of July (Independence Day for our readers in other countries...you know, like that crappy Will Smith movie) there is a hot dog eating competition held on Coney Island in New York hosted by Nathan's Famous Hot Dogs. Well for something like the last decade or so the competition has been won by this guy...




















Takeru Kobayashi. He is a 27 year old, professional competitive eater from Nagano, Japan who weighs a scant 132 pounds.

Now, I've said it before and apparently I have to say it again, why can't the fattest country on earth win a hot dog eating contest? I guess Kobayashi is just a smaller, more efficient eater than the lazy American fatties, is that it? Why can't America win a competition that combines it's favorite things: sloth and shiny trophy belts.

Have we lost the competitive spirit? Have we outsourced everything? I say no. The answer is purely American and so obvious I don't know why someone hasn't proposed it already. The American entrants in the hot dog eating contest? The homeless. In purely competitive terms, they are hungrier and they want it more!

So next time a homeless man approaches you on the street asking for money tell him, "Brother I'll pay your entry fee." Then hand him a brochure for the hot dog eating contest and tell him, "I'll see you on the 4th!"