The Intelligence Estimate

I got on the train today and my eye was drawn immediately to two women in the corner. They were large (read: FAT) women dressed in long black dresses sitting with their faces inches apart from one another. They had their hands about the others face in a gesture that looked a lot like monkeys grooming each other.

One was almost cute with her close cropped hair in a spritely pixie-do! The other one looked like Rosie O'Donnell ate Dom Delouise. I called her the Sasquatch. In addition to her standard-issue black dress, Sasquatch was wearing red leg warmers. I'm not sure why she was keeping her legs in such pristine condition. I could tell the last time she ran was when the ice cream truck broke down a few blocks away.

As I sat down I realized why they were so close to each other: they were painting each other green. They were on their way down to the the one year anniversary of the sit down production of Wicked at the Oriental Theater in Chicago. They were giving away pairs of tickets to the first 365 witches to show up at the festivities.

What better way to say thank you to the fans than by making the faithful come out into the light of day to be mocked and ridiculed by the public? Bravo!

I also noticed that Pixie-Do had a wiccan necklace, so I guessed she was just going to the party simply to meet with the producers and deliver a list of corrections so that their show would more accurately portray the way witches live their lives. I assume one of the changes was going to be more public humiliation.