The Intelligence Estimate

So I was recently back in Iowa for a weekend to perform with my former improv troupe. Before I left to come back to Chicago I was told that the troupe had created a MySpace account to promote themselves. Having recently created a MySpace account myself, I was eager to go link my account to theirs. So, I went to MySpace and entered in the search criteria to find people in and around Des Moines.

Now, that part of the story was mostly for the benefit of my wife, as it explains how I stumbled upon this picture of a half naked girl who goes by the name "leahrockingout." She was wearing a black bikini in the picture and her head was cropped out of the photo. Intrigued, as anyone would be, I clicked on her picture. This lead me to a full page of pictures of Leah, all with the heads missing, all of them featuring her in various stages of undress.

"I need to read THIS bio," I thought.

Here is her bio with the occasional editorial comment.

"I am a 21 y/o from West Des Moines, IA. I am currently attending IA State and am majoring in English. I do some modeling on the side which is why I don't want to put pictures of my face on here."

Ok, WHAT? You model. You're beautiful...for money. You're job is "getting your face out there." You are paid to have people look at you. You are, essentially, professionally pretty. So, you don't want to go ahead and just give away all that prettiness for free, so you ONLY PUT A PICTURE OF YOUR HALF NAKED BODY ON THE SITE?! This says one of three things to me: A) she's skunk's ass ugly, B) she's a hand model, or C) her head is hugely misproportioned from lugging around that intellect everywhere she goes.

" Pretty much I just like to have a good time." Get out, really?! "I guess you could call me a party girl..." (like they do at all the MENSA meetings) "...but I promise you will like my personality way more than my ass."

Which is why the site was crammed with pictures of her...um...personality. Oh yeah, all the boys are lining up at a chance to get up close to and possibly go home with her personality. Which is why the next field on her profile made me laugh out loud. It's entitled "Who I'd Like To Meet."

"Hot guys and girls who want to go with the flow, be real, and have a good time."

HOT guys and girls! Because if you're gonna do something as intellectually rigorous as "go with the flow", or "be real" it would be a shame to have to do it with someone who might have a great personality but just an ok ass.

So, in summation, if you're looking to discuss post-modern feminism or the relative merits of the electoral college you night want to look elsewhere. However, if you'd like to get sexually frustrated by someone with an inflated sense of self worth then the line starts here! Take a number boys!

(EDIT: in an earlier edition of this post I neglected to include pics of Ms. Rockinout. Today we rectify that situation: )

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v717/cgummert/128293444_m.jpg

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v717/cgummert/128286775_m.jpg