The Intelligence Estimate

I went to the remedial Subway yesterday. It's a little sandwich shop near our office and, well, what it lacks in customer service it sort of makes up for in convenience. At least I thought so until yesterday.

I ordered a sandwich with EXTRA MEAT AND CHEESE. This is not an uncommon occurrence at Subway. They even have a menu item for it called A SUPER. If you order a 6 inch Cold Cut Combo SUPER, they automatically give you extra meat and cheese for a nominal fee. No big deal...unless you go to the remedial Subway.

I looked this Sandwich art-school drop out in the eye and told her four times that I wanted "extra meat and cheese." I made sure to make eye contact and to speak very slowly and distinctly. I avoided using jargon like SUPER, but to no avail. She stared right back at me and said, "uh-huh" but did nothing. The last time I said it she got a faint glimmer of understanding, a moment of clarity, but still did nothing. I stared a little harder. Her solution? She folded the meat over another time so it LOOKED like I had more meat and cheese.

That's the real solution right there. We've solved the hunger crisis. Just fly a package of bologna to Africa and ask them to keep folding it until everyone is full! The whole solution will cost like $5 for the bologna. We'll have a Marine do it on his lunch break.