The Intelligence Estimate

To The Illinois Department of Employment Security,

Your websites are a joke and your phone service is the punchline.

I registered for unemployment a month ago on your poorly constructed and even more poorly implemented website. I answered question after painfully incomprehensible question. I signed up for the Illinois Skills Match database. I listed all of my job skills and education and training for you to quantify. I searched through your "skills match" jobs. I looked on patiently as your website listed all the jobs I was "qualified" for along with a corresponding percentage of "how qualified" I was for them. I slowly simmered while those percentages told me the gap between my skills and the jobs available...a quantification and catalog of my inadequacy rarely seen outside of the a family gathering. But I did not get angry.

I've called in every other week to certify that I am looking for jobs. I have answered your battery of even more incomprehensibly worded questions. ("Were you working for the same company on the 12th as you were on the 8th?" I was fired on the 8th. If I answer "Yes" then I am certifying that I am still employed by the company that fired me, which is not true. If I answer "No" I am stating that I am currently working, which is also not true.)

I smiled through gritted teeth when you demanded to put my unemployment money on a State of Illinois Visa card. I angrily drummed my fingers on the desk as I waded through the digital swamp that hid the application form for the direct deposit of my unemployment money into my checking account. Even when I got a letter from your office saying that I was being denied a week of my unemployment money because I answered a phone question in a way that made you question my eligibility I remained begrudgingly calm.

When I called into your office (using the phone number provided by your very own paperwork) on three separate occasions and was immediately ushered into a voicemail box I teetered on the brink of coming unhinged. When the voicemail announcer informed me that the mailbox was full and that my only option was to "try back later?" That was the precise moment I became certifiably enraged.

I submit to you that there is no job crisis. You clearly need more people at the unemployment office to answer phones. Maybe someone to help you make sense of the certification questions? I have a Speech Communications degree and have held many writing and customer service positions. I feel like my job history and training make me uniquely able to fill the gap in your office team. I would appreciate the opportunity to discuss my qualifications with you further. I look forward to hearing from you at your earliest possible convenience...or whenever you can pull yourself out of that voicemail box.

Sincerely,
Chris Gummert, Job Seeker

Labels: Open Letter, State of Illinois, Unemployment