Halloween Reconsidered: Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Muppet Carcass
1 Comments Published by Chris on Monday, October 31, 2005 at 10:35 PM.
Tonight after work I stopped at the ice cream store near work. (Don't judge me!) Apparently it is common around here for children to trick or treat at businesses, so there was a steady stream of children coming into the store in costume and begging. (There was also a donut shop attached to this ice cream store. DON'T JUDGE ME!) That's where I saw a costume that both renewed my faith in humanity and scared the bejeezus out of me.
It was a boy no more than 7 years old who was dressed up like Scooby-Doo. It was clearly a store-bought costume because it was very elaborate. The whole body was soft brown fur. There was a long tail and even dog tags with SD on them. And then there was Scooby's finely crafted head, which would have looked exactly like Scooby had the boy been wearing it. The head was done up like the top of a sweatshirt hood so that when the boy put it on he would have been looking out of Scooby's neck with Scooby's eyes and mouth sitting on top of his head. As it was the child had the hood down. So the effect was that he was carrying around Scooby Doo's severed head on his back.
This reminded me of when I worked at the Civic Center and they would have the Seseame Street Live tours come through. Kids were never let backstage because there were Muppet skins everywhere. Big Bird was the worst. The way that costume works is that the performer put on the legs and then the body is lowered onto them. Well, to achieve that they hoist Big Bird up by the neck and lower him onto the performer. But between shows you walk backstage and are greeted with a legless Big Bird dangling from a noose 30 feet over head. It's eerie. Add to that the various Muppet carcasses strewn about backstage and it looks like some renegade Muppet poacher came backstage and gutted the lot of them.
Yet another childhood memory RUINED by adulthood! I need more ice cream. STOP JUDGING ME!
I want to stroll under the legless carcass of bigbird... dancing among the skins of Ernie and Mr. Hooper while gentle shadows drift across my path and the light touch of synthetic yellow fluff trails across my face. And I sing. I sing.
A is for Atlas...
... and that good enough for me.
B is for Beowulf who made Grendel die.
C is for Circe who turns men to pigs...
D is for Dwarfs and the tunnels they dig.
E is for Erebus where flows the river Styx...
F is for Fauns who like to play tricks.
G is for Gwenevere who are Arthur's three wives...
H is for Harpies who come when one dies.
I is for Icarus with unfaithful wings...
J is for Jahweh of whom angels sing.
K is for Krishna who makes one feel love...
L is for Legion, below not above.
M is for Mithra, so much like the Christ...
N is for Nymphs, who have men inticed.
O is for Osiris, who had been reborn...
P is for Prometheus whose flesh was constantly torn.
Q is for Quetzalcoatl, the snake who could fly...
R is for Rhadamanthus, whom dead souls does try.
S is for Semiramis, of beauty reknowned...
T is for Titans whom Zeus ordered bound.
U is for Underworld, land of the dead...
V is for Varuna who is always overhead.
W is for Wandula where all is forgot...
X is for Xanthus where the Trojans all fought.
Y is for Yggdrasil with roots in three worlds...
Z is for Zalevkos, his sun glory unfurled.