The Intelligence Estimate

I'm still learning a lot of new things at work. Today's new item? The bathroom habits of our UPS driver.

Now, in fairness, he's not OUR UPS driver. As one of the manager's (James) said, "I've never seen him deliver a package here, but he always stops to take a crap." I tried to tell them that that was a special delivery all its own, but they weren't hearing it. "I don't know what he eats, but you don't wanna go in there for about an hour."

One of the things I learned about the job is that we get free soda. They have a bar there that has a gun with Pepsi, Sierra Mist, Orange Juice...just about everything you could want. Well, I'm trying to get away from the sugar and caffeine of soda, so I've been drinking water. LOTS of water. I brought in this 48oz mug today and I was 1/2 through my second glass when I realized that I REALLY needed to go to the bathroom. However, this was a scant 20 minutes after James admonishment to avoid the bathroom after the "specail delivery." So I went upstairs to the bathroom ABOVE the one the UPS driver used. And you know what? That one smelled too. I suppose it's possible that someone else had burritos for lunch, but I prefer to think that our UPS driver's bowels are super-human and the stench actually ate through the floor! Because if that's true, I think the government needs to study him and his special brand of biological warfare.

You know, now that I think about it, I never did see that UPS guy walk out of the bathroom. He may have actually been killed in the line of dookie.