The Intelligence Estimate

I've been struggling with whether or not I was going to post this...and well...I'm still not sure this is the right thing to do, but it's too good of a story to pass up.

A few weeks ago Jen and I saw a midnight movie at the Musicbox Theater. This, in and of itself, is not a noteworthy occasion. We see movies there a lot. It was the movie we saw that makes this evening worth mentioning. It was a movie from 1977 billed as "The Disco Dolls in Hot Skin." It was alternately know by the titles: Blonde Emmanuelle, Disco Dolls and Hot Skin in 3-D. It's a 3-D "adult comedy" (read: porn) that was constantly being re-edited and re-distributed to different markets.

Now, before you go getting all in a huff, I know all of this because there was a film historian who spoke before the screening. And not just ANY film historian mind you. This was a PORN film historian (read: pervert), so he knows what he's talking about. Incidentally, we ended up riding the train back home with the porn film historian (no, that is not a euphemism!) and he is exactly as attractive and worldly as you think he is. (read: hairy palms)

I thought it would be interesting to see a 3-D porn movie. I figured there would be lots of men making dramatic, last minute turns to the camera just as the first three rows cowered in fear and reached for their umbrellas. Good fun, I thought. I couldn't have been more wrong.

The film was put together from 3 or 4 different prints (according to the debauched bachelor who has devoted his life to obtaining this first-hand "knowledge") so there were a lot of splices in the film and lots of opportunities for the film to break. And you know what? The film took every single one of those chances. The first 10 minutes of the film took about a half an hour to watch. After the fourth or fifth time the film broke, someone in the back of the theater yelled out, "It's ok. This happens to every film! We can just cuddle."

I LOVE Chicago!