The Intelligence Estimate

*puts down Soap Box, climbs on top...wait does soap come in boxes anymore? Eh, whatever. The metaphor still works.*

I wish to register my displeasure at the advertisements for the new Curtis "50 Cent" Jackson movie, "Get Rich or Die Trying." They are an insult to thinking people everywhere.

There are two alarming issues at work here. The first of which is that I never feel so uniquely caucasian as when forced to use rapper's names in polite conversation. Why can't he pronounce it FIFTY cent like a normal human being? Why FITTY? I'm not saying it's a conspiracy to make me feel like a jackass, but I'm not say that it's not either.

I had the same problem when Sean Colmbs decided to go from "Puff Daddy" (Puffy to his friends) to the equally rediculous P. Diddy. What kind of Dr. Seuss parallel reality do these people live in? Honestly?! They sound like one big Sid and Marty Kroft show. Curtis? Honey? This is reality calling, come back to us. We miss you.

The second, perhaps more alarming, issue is the tag line for the movie. "Dying is only one of the options." Ladies and gentlemen of the court, may I remind you that the movie is called "Get Rich or Die Trying?" Isn't it patently obvious that dying is one of the options? Who needs this spelled out for them? And more importantly, are these simpletons the kind of people who you want coming to your movie? Because they're probably going to need it explained to them later using small words and sock puppets. Ohhhhhh, maybe THAT's where Sid and Marty Kroft come in!

Whateva's cleva yo! G-Dawg OUT!

*steps off Soap Box and busts a cap in its punk ass!*