I am in Des Moines right now. I am staying at my friend Shawn's house with his wife Trish and their son Luke while performing with Shawn and my old comedy troupe at the Iowa Fringe Festival. I assure you Des Moines in July is every bit as glamorous as it sounds!
I initially waffled about where to stay when in Des Moines. A couple of different friends offered me spaces at their place and I even briefly entertained the notion of getting a hotel room, but I'm glad I chose what I did. My decision can best be summed up in six little words: Black and Decker Cordless Power Pack!
On the ledge right next to the bed in the guest room I have complete access to a Black and Decker Cordless Power Pack! I never even knew I wanted one until now. But now that the option is on the table I can't help but think that I will be doing a little late night woodworking. How impressed would they be if I refinished their deck while they slept?
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So now you're gone.
My deck. Still unfinished.
I thought you might take a fucking hint.