I have a lot of news on my Google Homepage. I try to read it everyday, but what usually ends up happening is that somewhere around 3a.m. I run out of time so I start scanning headlines and making up stories. Here's today's batch....
The BBC News UK Edition leads off with this curious tag: "Man 'Duped' Over Fertiliser Store." Who among us hasn't fallen prey to the siren song of the mythical fertilizer store?
The New Zealand Herald triumphantly reports that, "NZ Students Perform Well Compared to Others." Now come on New Zealand, you know better than to compare yourself to others. You are a beautiful and unique snowflake. There is not another country in the world who is exactly like you. You are precious and so are your students. Besides, how hard is it to perform well compared to American students? NZ, if you can find yourself on a map you're doing better than U.S. students, but I still don't think you should base your self esteem around it.
Fox News leads with this headline: "British Man Trampled To Death By Elephant While On Honeymoon." While CNN lead with a more modest and some would say more newsworthy: "Dam Collapse in Nigeria Destroys 1,500 Homes." Take note CNN, THAT is why Fox news is on top of the news game. They know what people want in their news: love, death and elephants.
Time Magazine has a story titled "Campaign 2006: The Republican's Secret Weapon" and "Why Torture is Still an Option." Presumably those are two separate stories, but don't be surprised if voting machines "require" electrodes to be placed on your genitals.
That's all from News Central. Good night and good riddance.
Labels: BBC News, CNN, Comedy, Elephants, Fertilizer, Fox News, Google, New Zealand, News, News Round Up, Nigeria, Republican Party, Time Magazine, Torture
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