The Intelligence Estimate

From Fox News, who is trying to appeal to the NASCAR demographic just a bit too much it seems, come this sensationalistic, knock-the-beer-out-of-your-over-sized-novelty-hat story entitled: Man Runs Over, Eats Seven Legged Transgendered Deer.

Apparently the Wisconsin deer not only had extra (and under developed, crab-like pincer legs) but it also had both male and female parts.

'"It was definitely a freak of nature," (Rick) Lisko said. "I guess it's a real rarity."

What you have to appreciate is Rick's subtlety. In one breath he's screaming about a freak of nature and calling the mob villagers to their pitch forks and torches, and in the next breath he becomes wistful for the halcyon days when freaks of nature ran free and unfettered through the trailer park noshing on discarded Playboys and crapping bottle tops. Ahhhh, Freak of nature we hardly knew ya!

But just how did the deer die?

"He (Lisko) said he slowed down as the buck and two does ran across the driveway Nov. 22, but the buck ran under the truck and got hit."

He ran under the truck? A deer ran UNDER the truck? Was he also a miniature, hobbit-sized deer or is somebody desperately trying to wriggle out of another DUI arrest? I assume that Fox is betting the people reading this story are too stupid to pose that question. Not just because the average Fox News reader also believes that the US is losing in Iraq because there are gays in the military. No, I say that because of the link that they inserted into the next sentence.

"'Bilgo (The DNR Representative) took photos and sent information on the animal to DNR wildlife managers.'"

I, as someone who has spent the better part of the last 12 years glued to the Internet, assumed that the link would take you to photos that the DNR had posted of this unique specimen. I thought it was a little weird that FOX hadn't included them in the original story, but I assumed there was some kind of copyright problem. But when I clicked on the link it took me to an ask.com page listing various photo hosting/printing services. Here's a little tip for Fox News, if the target audience of your writing needs to have digital photography and Internet hosting explained to them then you probably don't need to go ahead and post the story on your web site.

Labels: Fox News, News, Transgendered Seven Legged Deer, Weird News