Only 100 Shopping Days Left Until Embarassment
0 Comments Published by Chris on Tuesday, September 26, 2006 at 12:34 AM.
One year for Christmas my Dad's girlfriend (later wife...and then later ex-wife #2) got my uncle a Billy Bass for Christmas. For the uninitiated and/or people with taste I will explain. *AHEM* Billy Bass is a mounted fish that sings "Take Me To The River" at the press of a button.
Everyone was disappointed by this gift. I was disappointed because the damned thing existed, let alone in such proximity to me. My family was disappointed because it didn't come with batteries. This "problem" was "remedied" by a quick cannibalization of the TV remote and soon everyone was "enjoying" the Al Green classic being torturously brought to life by a piece of vinyl siding with a rhythm section.
Well look out Billy Bass because there is a new sheriff in town. Make way for The Farting Teddy Bear.
The concept here, as I see it, is that Teddy Ruxpin has REALLY let himself go. This bear...well...I'll just let the ad copy do the talking: "He's cute, he's cuddly, and he's flatulent. There's nothing he likes more than to be in the arms of some poor, unsuspecting victim so he can let out a big, juicy one when you press the remote control. And he's so embarrassed; his little cheeks glow blushing red whenever he passes gas. Adorable as he is, he's always forgiven. You, maybe not."
He's cuddly? Ok. He's cute? That's negotiable. He's flatulent? That totally undoes points one and two. I had an uncle who was the same way and let me tell you any passing resemblance he might have shared with a Jack Russell pup was completely outweighed by the fact that he smelled like 3 month old cole slaw.
I'm getting to Grandma's early this year to hide all the batteries.
Labels: Christmas, Dad, Gifts, Iowa, Lost Post, Naughty, Teddy Bear, Weird News
I Could Have Gotten Them a Diaper Bag But Where's The Fun In That?
1 Comments Published by Chris on Tuesday, August 22, 2006 at 10:08 PM.
This is Luke. And as you can tell by his t-shirt, he is definitely up to something.
That something? Teaching me to play piano.
Luke belongs to these lovely people, Shawn and Trish.
When Trish was pregnant with Luke, she passed along this little pearl of maternal wisdom to me:"It sucks being knocked up." It sucks so much that I cross stitched this fine baby gift to remind her of that fact.
So far, Luke is an only child.
