Back in September The Discovery Channel started airing commercials for a contest they were holding. They asked people to make parodies of their programs. The winners would be posted on their web site and be seen on a special airing in December. They would also win $500.
I like the Discovery Channel almost as much as I like $500, so I entered with a spoof of American Chopper. Well I haven't heard anymore about the spoof special and last week they announced that American Chopper was moving to TLC. Long story short: my $500 ain't coming. Since the television viewing public has been robbed of my genius I have decided to air it here, on the info-nets! If it's good enough for the exploding whale it's good enough for me!
So here, for the first time anywhere, is: A Very Special American Chopper!
*Note to Subscribers: I will be sending a link to the video shortly*
Labels: American Chopper, Comedy, Discovery Channel, Hollywood, Movies, TLC, YouTube
Press Release: Local Writer Declares Intent
0 Comments Published by Chris on Tuesday, December 12, 2006 at 1:58 PM.
Ok, I know my postings have been VERY infrequent as of late and I feel like I owe my regular readers (both of you!) an explanation.
Before we begin, does everyone remember this video:
Well, I was so smitten with it I decided to do a little research into it. The more I looked into this story the funnier it became to me. I was retelling the story to everyone I knew and they were all just as baffled and amused by it as I was. So in the past few weeks, I have been hard at work doing research about the exploding whale and related mysteries. (Yes mom, THIS is what I'm doing with my college degree!) I've read a couple of great books (this one and this one) and hit the jackpot for exploding whale information at the aptly named Exploding Whale website. I have also lined up several interviews with key players in the story.
Why am I doing this you ask? (Again, I'm looking at YOU mom!) Because I believe that this would be the PERFECT one man show! And why am I telling you that? Probably out of spite. (That was just for mom too...hmmmm. Maybe that spite sentence should have been parenthetical too? Or at least said in the confines of my therapists office. The world may never know.) No. The reason I am telling you this is so that I will actually follow through on it.
See, for those of you who don't know me well...congratulations. I'm sure your lives are richer for it. But then you do not know of my storied procrastination. I feel that the best time to do anything is tomorrow, or possibly the day after if it can be put off even longer. I hate deadlines. When I worked at the Boone News Republican (All the news and STOCK CAR RACE WINNERS TOO!) I would purposely put off writing the magistrate listing until the morning they were due just to make the editor nuts. It's pathological. In fact the only reason this blog post is so long is because I'm actively trying to get out of doing laundry.
Anyway, I only tell you this so that I have got something in writing that I can be held accountable to. Don't let me down people! Let the nagging begin!
Labels: Explosions, One Man Show, Whales, Writing, YouTube
Apparently I'm not well loved in Canada.
Does anyone remember the carefree days when I posted this video parody of a trilogy of movies that was largely ignored by mainstream film goers?
It is based on the Qaatsi Trilogy of movies by Godfrey Reggio. The movies are loosely labeled as documentaries with incredibly broad topics like War or Technology or Wasting My Time or Phillip Glass Needs A Paycheck. (We've HEARD that chord already...for like 10 minutes? What else you got? Oh, an arpeggio? Shocking! Didn't see that coming!) The movies have no conventional narrative but rely on images shown repeatedly in different speeds to make their point. And what is the point? Well, let me ask my Canadian friend Mr. Jiggjoepanto...if that is his real name...and I PRAY that it is! "The Qatsi films clearly show how North American culture destroys other cultures, and rapes the planet daily. It's well past time to take our heads out of our asses about this."
Clearly he is quite passionate about these films and the "issues " they supposedly raise. However, I was a little late in arriving at his opinion because he started out his letter by announcing that, "There are many humorous homages to Reggio/Glass on YouTube that are well done. Yours is pathetic garbage." How do you argue with that? You cannot refute such a strongly reasoned treatise and it is mere folly to do so. (Clearly those years on the debate team are now paying off huge dividends!) I bow to your superior intellect and simply read on.
"Each of us has the power right now to make positive change, yet you waste your gift making crap like this. Snap out of it."
I guess there is a compliment in there somewhere. He supposes that I have gifts to waste and am not simply a bored Netfilx subscriber with a camera desperately trying to make some artistic use of the 6 wasted hours I spent on the trilogy. That's something I suppose.
I'm not mad at him for his opinion. I agree that America is an overbearing, short-sighted, monolithic man-child of a nation, and that we are continually raping and pillaging at a rate that would do the Vikings proud. I'm not even mad at him for liking the Qaatsi Trilogy. He liked it, I didn't. There is nothing I can do to change that opinion in a movie that runs minute and a half.
No, what burns me about Mr. Pants (or Jiggy Dawg as the people who have been berated by him like to refer to him) is that he lashed out so vitriolically about a movie posted on a FREE site. Even if you hated it, at least it was FREE AND NOT SIX HOURS LONG! He was out nothing but his time...90 seconds. And apparently he was going to use that time for something much more important. So I feel like I owe it to the world to apologize to the world for tying up the valuable time of Jiggyjoe. I'm sorry. I'd hate for it to be found out that we were deprived of a cure for cancer because I had to shoot my mouth off about a pretentious piece of cinematic tripe.
Labels: Canada, Feedback, Film Making, Movies, Qaatsi Trilogy, YouTube
